Tres dates from Tinder …

So, I promised all of you readers out there that I would follow up with you after I went on my first Tinder date. My luck was greater than one because I had three Tinder dates with two different men,  I went on one date with one and two dates with the other.  I approached the dates with with no expectations or pre-conceived notions.   I was quite surprised and I think you will be too.

Date Uno

The first guy out of the two we will call B. I was hopeful about meeting B because we had good conversation over the app and through text. We set a date to meet but details were not finalized until the day of the date. This is a big turn off for me If you ask me out then plan the damn date.  I know I am at fault here too because I could have turned the date down.  I get that he is a busy guy because he is in grad school, works, and has a far commute for his job and school.  I totally understand that but it’s not an excuse for lack of planning and I did not get a good first impression of this guy.  He wanted to do things around his schedule which rubbed me the wrong way and it showed he had no consideration for me.  I had to tell him I could not do the time he originally suggested because I already had plans that night.  Since everything was do so last minute I as in no way canceling my plans.  If he planned earlier that would not have been an issue but i threw out times and he rejected them which annoyed me. I had these plans, a close friends birthday, before he asked me out.  When everything was finally set, I was more at ease.

Basically it was a low key date. We met at a coffee shop, tried to go to hike a local park but couldn’t find parking spots so we wound up going to a pub for a drink.  The date was going well because we were there for two hours and didn’t get kicked out or ask us to leave.  I was late to the party because we just had a good conversation flow going on and when we parted there was a mention of a second date the following weekend.

Update: Even though we clicked with conversation on the first date and chatted thereafter we ha don second date. According to him I will not “clique” with him and he would be too much for me (whatever that means).  It was fine and I’m cool with it.  That is what happens when you date.

 

Date Uno

The second first date I went on I enjoyed even better then the first one!  We will call this guy T. T planned ahead and picked a great brunch spot for our date.  He looked like his pictures but was defiantly heavier than his photos. Which means his photos were not recent.  But everything else checked out so I could get over the weight issue.  In reality post current pictures guys, it makes a difference.  We hit it off instantly and our conversation was non-stop.  T and I have visited some of the same places so we chatted about that. The waitress did not rush us out considered it was peak brunch time and packed.  We parted ways and that same night he texted me to let me know he had a great time.  Guess it is a good sign.  We chatted throughout the week and nothing was mentioned about a second date. So, I figured I would initiate a second date.  I threw out two options and he didn’t really seem to dig either of them nor did he suggest an alternative that he would like.  I just picked one and we went to a German beer hall/restaurant for our second date.

Date Dos

This date was initiated and planned by me.  It occurred a week after our second date and again we just chatted away and were not rushed out. T said he enjoyed this date was well and will defiantly like to go out again the upcoming weekend.  We have been talking since the second date and that is a another good sign.   I will have to wait and see what happens for a third date.  The ball is in his court now since I initiated and planned the second date.

 

The two first dates I had showed me that there are decent guys on Tinder.  I found them with a lot of filtering through matches.  I am pretty picky in general but even more so on Tinder due to its reputation.  I was glad that I went  on both dates.  Even if no second date came it was still a good experienced.

Even though the dates turned out good it is so much work to get a response or find decent men.  Sometimes all of the work that I need to go through makes me want to stay single.

 

 

 

 

 

Dating Apps Decoded

So, since I decided to jump back into the online dating world I figured I would put myself out there and try a variety of dating apps and websites. I figured I would write about my experience and see what some of my readers experiences were when using online dating apps.  Also, heads up that this will be one of my longer posts on the blog.

Bumble

Word in the street is that this app is the Tinder for women.  The females have all of the power on this app.  Women can swipe left or right, need to initiate the conversation with their matches within twenty four hours or they will lose the match.  Once a conversation is started the match has twenty four hours to respond or the match will be closed.  I like how women need to get the conversation flowing on Bumble.  It is the role reversal of Tinder.  Women need to think of good conversation starters and opening lines to entice men to repsond.  That is what men would do on Tinder and other sites.  Maybe women will realize that being the first to start a conversation with something besides hey can be difficult and daunting.  Now the women need to wait for responses and the men get to filter through the messages and decided if they would respond or not.  On Bumble the shoe is now on the other foot for both men and women while using this app.

 I have been on here for about two weeks and have not any success yet.  I have managed to match with men and begin convo with them and then they just ghost on me.  Also, I have encountered people who are just in the area for business or vacation etc..  Their  location says they are in my area and then when we start conversing they are upfront and say they are in the area for a short time or just looking for a hook up  while they are here.  That is totally fine but that is not what I am looking for on this app.  So far I have not had any dates due to most people I conversed with not being from the area or the man would stop responding.   Another thing I have noticed is that there are not many guys in my area or within the radius that I would prefer.  I have to keep increasing my radius to find matches which sucks because I really do not want to travel that far.  I could just be really picky but a: there are not many choices for my preferred radius which is pretty generous (25-30 miles) and b: I am not finding a ton of men that I am attracted to on this app.  So, as of yet no success on this app but I will keep plugging away and see if anything happens.  How have your experiences been using Bumble?  Have any of you found success or met anyone in person or off of the site?  If yes, How did it go?

Tinder

The infamous hook up app.  I was very leary before trying out this app due to its reputation but I figured,what the hell can happen?  The worst case scenarios are that I have some crazy stories to tell, I delete the app, or fins another app to use.  Since this is Tinder I understand that I will get hook up requests and boring messages that I do on other sites but thats cool because that happens on any dating site.  One reason I am trying this app besides curiosity is that one of my best friends found success on Tinder despite its rep.  She has been dating her boyfriend for about eight months and things have been great between them.   Finally after her nagging me for a bit to just try it out I caved and gave Tinder a shot.  To my surprise I have hit it off with a few guys on Tinder.  Some of the conversations have been so good that we have moved to texting and I have a date set up with one of the guys.  I am excited to see what happens but am hesitant because it is online dating and you never know what is going happen. As of now I will see how the date goes and am hopeful that it will go well and lead to a second date.  As of now I am going with no expectations and expecting some awkwardness and weirdness but overall I am interested to see where this goes.  I’ll do a post about how the date goes and if the guy is a creep or just your average joe looking for love.

 I have surprised myself and have found some decent guys on Tinder who are not out for a hookup or friends with benefits.  So, ladies there is hope out there in the Tinder universe for dating  but it does take screening and time to find the good guys.   Readers, let me know your Tinder experiences and what you think of the app?

CoffeemeetsBagel

This app was all the rage in NYC starting about three years ago.  I have heard of this app for  a while but was not looking to date at the time so I never downloaded it or looked into how the app works.  Since I am back into the dating world again I looked into what all the hype was about CoffeemeetsBagel.  I liked that point off the app is to get the man and woman to exchange numbers and get off of the app and meet in person.  The way the app works is that you set up a profile and then everyday at noon you receive bagels (matches) that you can like or pass.  If you do not receive a bagel (match) then you get a free pick and choose from a bunch of matches.  When I first had this app I found that I was getting a good amount of matches to pick from each day but the longer I had the app the less matches I would receive.  I have had some good conversations with guys on here and have went on a date with  a man who I met on this site.  The date went well and we did go on a few dates but it didn’t work out long term.  I do not know anyone that has used this app before so I just kind of tried it on a whim to see how the app worked.  How have your experiences been with the app?  Have you met anyone in person from the app?  How did it go?  Thoughts in general about the app?  Let me know in the comments below.

OKCupid

This is not a bad site.  It does require a lot of filtering of men and messages.   I have gotten men uncreative, rude, or creepy.  It does require you to actually read the profile, look at pictures etc. and not just messaging back and forth without checking the profile out.  I have mixed feelings about this site.  From my experience let’s just say that there are weirdos and creeps out there.  There are a lot of them and it total changed my attitudes this site and dating people from this site.  I mean I am just picky and really filter who I message and talk to on here.  So, far my experiences here have been decent but I have not been using this app as much as I have in the past.  Now I am using some of the newer apps that I have found.

 I have gone on dates with guys from the site.  They weren’t bad but I am picky with who I meet and talk to on the site.  That is just me I am picky and don’t want to waste my time. This is a good site to try if you do not want to pay for a membership and know what you are looking for then you can hopefully find success on this site.

What are your opinions of using OkCupid?  If there are success stories or horror stories I want to hear about it so leave a comment in the comment section below.  Let me know!

Eharmony

I saved the best for last!  This is one of the most successful dating site I have heard of.  I know of two people that have met their significant others or current spouse using this site.  I have tried this site and have a love hate relationship with it.  I have had a long term relationship from this site almost a year long.  They guy I dated was great and that we were a good pair but there were some differences that could not be worked out which led to our break up.  Despite us not working out the quality of matches were a bit better than other sites I have tried and were in the radius that I specified on my settings preferences.  I did pay for a subscription for this app and it is pricy.  I only did the one month subscription because I did not want to get locked into three months of payment and dislike the site.  I know if I paid for three months than I would not get my money back whereas if I only paid for a month then I would be totally done after the month was up.

Since the above is a bit wish mossed here is what I like about the site.  The matches were better than other sites I have tried and more educated.  Also, the matches were sent to me and I did not have to filter through matches as much as I did on other dating sites.  This part is nice and many of the men I chatted with have had common topics to discuss.  The one thing that I did not like is that you could not tell who is a paying member and who is not.  That frustrated me because many of your matches might be using the site anymore.  This is a waste of everyones time and eHarmony should get rid of the profiles of non paying members or those who are no longer subscribed.  Also, I would get a bunch of matches who are outside of my radius and way too far to meet in person.  I am not looking for a long distance relationship and it frustrated me that I would get a decent number of matches who are out of state.  I did not specify that I was looking for someone out of state and eHarmony should follow the radius I set as best it can.  I would rather get less matches who meet my criteria than many matches who are out of state and way to far to commute to. But overall I did have a pleasant experience sign this site and would consider joining again in the future but at this time it is way to expensive for me to re-subscribe.  In the future I would consider re starting my subscription.  I would recommend that people try this site at least once due to its high success rate and less filtering and crazy messages received on this site.  Most people are looking for long term relationships on this site so odds are better at finding a match than OkCupid or Tinder.

How have your experiences been using eHarmony?  Have anyone have any success stories from eHarmony?  if you did I would like to hear about it.  Leave a comment below with you experiences.

Now you have it and that is my opinions and experiences on various dating apps and sites.  Feel free to comment to what site and apps you like or have used.

Hope is Alive

Image-huffingtonpost.co_.uk_

The Tinder Dating Pool Isn’t Completely Shallow

Most of my dating posts have been more on the negative side of things and have probably been not the most interesting posts to read.  But that is how my experience went and there was no use in sugarcoating it. The NY Times published an article, The Tinder Dating Pool Isn’t Completely Shallow, about people that met, fell in love, and are now getting married all by swiping right on the dating app Tinder.  I always thought Tinder was an app for people to just hook up with each other and stayed far away from the app.  But the same could be said for any dating site I guess.

Anyway this article features couples who have found success on the site and how sometimes perseverance on these dating sites pays off.  Hey you are bound to kiss and date tons of frogs before you meet the one.  There is hope for me I guess I have to keep on trucking.  As for trying out Tinder I’m still on the fence about that because I never liked the app to begin with but we shall see where that goes.  But this article shows how not all of Tinder users are interested in hook ups or fwbs.  Figured this article and post will give hope to online daters mucking through the water on various dating apps and sites.

**On a side note there were other articles recently written about Tinder they are good and I linked them below**

Beyond Right Swipe

On Tinder, Taking a Swipe at Love, or Sex, or Something, in New York