Dating has really gotten burdensome to me lately. Since my last relationship I have had no luck whatsoever and it sucks. I mean I have gone on dates but rarely has it passed beyond the first date. It has been so disheartening. It is like the universe is sending me signs that I am destined to be single the rest of my days. That is not true but it feels like that right now. I mean how many guys do I have to date to find my most compatible man? At the rate I am going I will be alone for quite a long while.
My lackluster dating life must be the universe telling me that I need to work on myself or that I should take break from dating. The guys I have been chatting with have not been impressive. They seem to just be after sex or ghost you in the middle of the conversation. I jumped into the online dating world full force after my last relationship ended and when all of my friends have been in successful relationships It is so hard to be the only single one or constantly searching for love. Maybe this is the time to truly narrow down what I am looking for in partner and to fix the shortcomings of myself.
All I want is the love like some of my friends have in their relationships. I want someone to choose me everyday, prioritize me, and spend quality time with me. I want to find someone who compliments me and just helps make my life better. The most important test is when we hit bumps in the road during a relationship. Like my parens say: “When something is broke you fix and you do not throw it away”. They have had fights ver the years and have always fixed things and made things work. They never gave up on their relationship due something that was temporary. That is the relationship that I want. The image below has things that I want in a relationship! The things below will help a relationship be strong and last.
So, I think I am getting fed up with online dating. It is getting more and more annoying. I am having difficulty finding anyone that I am interested in, am tired of men checking out in the middle of the conversation (aka ghosting), frustrated that my messages do not get responses, and am done with guys who are only looking for hook ups. Online dating is a lot more work than being single. It feels like it is a second job and you know what, it sucks big time!
I am looking to meet a man with whom I can connect with, we can learn about each other, and then we can begin a relationship. The amount of of creepers and sleaze balls out there has really dampened my spirits about the world of online dating. I guess that I have been looking for love in all the wrong places.
To make matters worse there are numerus people in my life who have recently met and connected with someone and are now in relationships or are getting engaged. They make the business of getting t know each other and entering a relationship look easy but here I am struggling and it is disheartening. It’s difficult to see people close to you start relationships, get engaged, or get married and here you are just trying to meet a man that is compatible with you. I am excited for all of my friends having success in their relationships but I am wondering what is going so wrong for me. I am putting myself out there, initiating conversations with men, and even suggesting getting coffee or an in person meeting. I have even went on dates when men asked me out but usually after the first or second date it fizzles out. All these other people make it look like a cake walk to meet men that are compatible with them. Here I am putting myself out there to no avail and have not had anything progress. I mean sometimes it is the man but other times I’m sure it is me. I am at the point in life where I am comfortable with who I am. I should not have to change or act a certain way to get someone to like me. I am well past that point. I just want to know what I am doing wrong that is keeping me in the single and undesirable zone.
All I want is to find a man and develop a connection with them that my friends have with their significant others. Everyone else that I know has made it look easy and here I am struggling to keep my head above water looking for a man. The only genuine connection that I have found so far was with my ex. I would like a similar compatibility with someone else. I know it will be different so no comparisons here. I just want someone that I connect with on a the same level that I did with my ex. I guess that I am looking for love in all the wrong places. I should heed the age old advice of you find what you are looking for when you stop looking for it. But I do find that as bad advice because it is like a sit an wait mentality and nothing is going to come knocking on your door. You have to go seek it out and that is what I have been doing in this area of my life but it just hasn’t seemed to work out.
Maybe the below quote with work out much better than the typical just sit and wait for love opinion
So, I promised all of you readers out there that I would follow up with you after I went on my first Tinder date. My luck was greater than one because I had three Tinder dates with two different men, I went on one date with one and two dates with the other. I approached the dates with with no expectations or pre-conceived notions. I was quite surprised and I think you will be too.
The first guy out of the two we will call B. I was hopeful about meeting B because we had good conversation over the app and through text. We set a date to meet but details were not finalized until the day of the date. This is a big turn off for me If you ask me out then plan the damn date. I know I am at fault here too because I could have turned the date down. I get that he is a busy guy because he is in grad school, works, and has a far commute for his job and school. I totally understand that but it’s not an excuse for lack of planning and I did not get a good first impression of this guy. He wanted to do things around his schedule which rubbed me the wrong way and it showed he had no consideration for me. I had to tell him I could not do the time he originally suggested because I already had plans that night. Since everything was do so last minute I as in no way canceling my plans. If he planned earlier that would not have been an issue but i threw out times and he rejected them which annoyed me. I had these plans, a close friends birthday, before he asked me out. When everything was finally set, I was more at ease.
Basically it was a low key date. We met at a coffee shop, tried to go to hike a local park but couldn’t find parking spots so we wound up going to a pub for a drink. The date was going well because we were there for two hours and didn’t get kicked out or ask us to leave. I was late to the party because we just had a good conversation flow going on and when we parted there was a mention of a second date the following weekend.
Update: Even though we clicked with conversation on the first date and chatted thereafter we ha don second date. According to him I will not “clique” with him and he would be too much for me (whatever that means). It was fine and I’m cool with it. That is what happens when you date.
The second first date I went on I enjoyed even better then the first one! We will call this guy T. T planned ahead and picked a great brunch spot for our date. He looked like his pictures but was defiantly heavier than his photos. Which means his photos were not recent. But everything else checked out so I could get over the weight issue. In reality post current pictures guys, it makes a difference. We hit it off instantly and our conversation was non-stop. T and I have visited some of the same places so we chatted about that. The waitress did not rush us out considered it was peak brunch time and packed. We parted ways and that same night he texted me to let me know he had a great time. Guess it is a good sign. We chatted throughout the week and nothing was mentioned about a second date. So, I figured I would initiate a second date. I threw out two options and he didn’t really seem to dig either of them nor did he suggest an alternative that he would like. I just picked one and we went to a German beer hall/restaurant for our second date.
This date was initiated and planned by me. It occurred a week after our second date and again we just chatted away and were not rushed out. T said he enjoyed this date was well and will defiantly like to go out again the upcoming weekend. We have been talking since the second date and that is a another good sign. I will have to wait and see what happens for a third date. The ball is in his court now since I initiated and planned the second date.
The two first dates I had showed me that there are decent guys on Tinder. I found them with a lot of filtering through matches. I am pretty picky in general but even more so on Tinder due to its reputation. I was glad that I went on both dates. Even if no second date came it was still a good experienced.
Even though the dates turned out good it is so much work to get a response or find decent men. Sometimes all of the work that I need to go through makes me want to stay single.
It has been such a long time since I have done a dating dilemma post. My dating life was going ok for awhile andI found a guy I really dug and things were just flowing naturally. Then things kind of came to a halt and he pulled the whole I like to take things slow card. So, I figured why not just dip my toe back in to see what’s out there. Compared to up North the dating pool is different and smaller. I have little hope of finding someone when I keep receiving messages like the following.
Some stellar messages from the men that inhabit the online dating world.
- If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger then “beautiful” could ever be used to describe you. trust me.
- Do you talk?
- When they said this smile is worth a million dollars I think they forgot to add some more zeros.
- Damn you ares sexy …I’m not very good at romance but you could sit on my face and I could just eat my way to your heart? (Really? Theses gross and is not even worth a response)
- Good with advices?
- Hey there sexy I just wanted to let you know that I find you incredibly beautiful.
- I mean if there is one thing that there is enough of in this world, it’s beautiful women.
So, this is why I am destined to be single forever. I am just getting tired of filtering through messages and having my inbox filled with messages like the ones above. Seriously some men out there need to step up their game and stop writing sub par messages to women.
It feels like it has been a very long while since I have done a dating post. Let me tell you its been a heck of a whirlwind. Since the last post I had a not so great first date, got stereotypical messages, and had conversations with a man which led to nowhere. All of that was frustrating. I was ready to throw in the towel and just resign myself to be a wishful thinker about having a relationship but I have had some success! I reached a message from a potential match and after viewing his profile which had no spelling mistakes and figured I would give it a shot. We messaged back and forth for a while before meeting in person. It went well and we have been on a few successful dates! I am taking everything slow and am not rushing anything. I’ll see how this goes and fingers crossed it continues on!
I am looking for a woman who loves the finer things in life
Wow I just want to say I love your eyes:)
Hey beautiful you are if I could give your one gift I’d give you my eyes so you could see how beautiful you are
I’m guessing your inbox must be blowing up LOL!
Would you let me kiss you?
If I had a dollar for every girl I saw that was just as pretty as you are I’d be broke.
So life has its way of throwing curve balls. For some odd reason I am always the one who finds themselves in the way of these said curve balls. In this instance it is screwing up my dating life or potential date with a guy. Basically he is a great guy but it is the distance and timing issues which 100% sucks.
After talking to guys through the dating site and getting, ghosted, asked for a hook up, or dealing with creeps, I believe I found a decent guy. We finally exchanged #’s and have been texting. Everything has been going well and we even want to meet in person. The only problem is distance. We live more than an hour apart which basically gives me little to no hope of this actually going anywhere. Also, the dude is really new to his area down here. So idk life why- I finally meet a decent guy and we hit it off (and he’s cute too) but distance puts a major wrench in things. It totally blows because let’s just say we meet up and want to go out again. The distance would be too much and well only be able to see each other on weekends. I know what you all are thinking… Why can’t you meet up half way? The problem with that is there is nothing to do halfway that is worth doing. That also puts another wrench in the situation. So I guess this was doomed from the start.
On the other hand I was the foolish one because I realized the distance but figured why not chat with him and see where it goes due to the lack of dudes in my area. Seriously the same dudes keep rotating through my feed and it’s not like I live in the boondocks. He messaged me first with a normal message instead of the typical hey or sup. So that’s how we began talking and we haven’t stopped since. So yeah that was a bad move on my part even answering the message knowing how far apart we live. But I truly thought of the distance factor for like a nano second and then just figured what the hell and answered his message. Hey if I don’t try things I will not know what could happen or where things could lead even if it turns out to be a friendship or going nowhere. The fact that he didn’t ghost on me in the middle of the conversation was a plus. Also, I was not the one carrying the whole conversation due to him asking questions as well. So I guess when I see a cute guy and am having a good conversation with him my rational and practical thoughts go out the window. In a way this is bad because now I feel like I was giving this guy false hope due to how new he was to his area and he most likely didn’t know how far we lived from each other. But in reality there was nothing that said how truly new he was to the area so I assumed he knew how far we lived. Distance issue aside there is the chance that things with this guy will turn out to be a bust when/if we meet in person. If we’re not compatible in person it would totally suck but I need to just keep on trucking and start searching again. That would be a bummer! So life your curve balls and impeccable timing are horrible as always. I’ve found a nice guy but the distance and timing isn’t right. Why could we not live closer to make meeting up easier and I couldn’t have found this guy earlier in my searches. I’ll see how this goes and I hope it works out for the best. We shall see!