So Love Sucks …

So, My last relationship crashed and burned after 10 months.  It started out good and we were both infatuated with each other.  As our relationship progressed there were differences that he did not want to work through.  Differences were not major but to him they were. It was things like,   It was devastating because I had invested so much into the relationship and thought we would be together for a long time.  However, I felt undervalued during our relationship and not seen as a priority.  For him it was family, work, friends, hockey/soccer, then Amanda (me).  I was basically worked into his schedule at his convience.  That is not how a relationship is supposed to work.  I understand work and family being at the top of a priority list before a relationship but putting friends, co-workers, and sports above me is just wrong.

There were signs throughout the course of the relationship that demonstrated that his lack of prioritizing me.  Two major occurrences were asking me to spend time with him for five hours on one weekend because he had to go to the hockey game with his friends.  Stupid me would drive out to see him for five hours because that was the only time I would get to see him all week.  Another thing that caused issues in our relationship was his refusal to give up or invite me to hang out with his co-workers or friends on Friday nights.  I asked him if he could give up one or two Fridays  with his buddies so that we could spend more time together and he balked at the idea.  Both of those things  should have been red flags about how committed he was to me and our relationship. Since he didn’t give up Friday nights we  hardly spent time together.  We would see each other once a week or for a few hours over a weekend.  That is the only time I would see him for the whole week and it sucked.  Looking back it was more like a friendship than a relationship.The quote below sums up the above and it’s so sad that things were not ended sooner.  But hey you live and you learn and I will not make that mistake again.

Signs that my relationship was doomed:

  • I was not a priority in the relationship
  • He never called on the phone or wanted to talk on the phone
  • Never wanted to come visit me in my town or at my place (we lived about 40 min drive from each other)
  • Never gave up a Friday night with co-workers or invited me to hangout out with them during the 10 months
  • Thought it was acceptable to see me for 5 hours and then I had to wait seven days to see him again
  • We never spent a whole weekend  together (Fri-Sun or Sat.& Sun) while we were dating.  There was always an excuse of how he had to visit friends or family the next day so I would have leave in the morning or not stay the night
  • Whenever I communicated something that bothered me he always got defensive
  • Never expressed his feelings: like if things were bothering him
  • Never expressed emotion or said how he was feeling about the relationship
  • Never wanted to discuss emotions or feelings in the relationship

I am not bashing him at all because the success of our relationship did not have anything to do with how he treated me.  He was a gentleman, was very nice, and respectful toward me.  However, niceness does not mean that a romantic relationship is going to work or is meant to be.  Despite his gentlemanly status, he was not ready to be in a romantic relationship (at least one with me) based on the lack of prioritization, lack of emotional communication, and hardly ant effort put into making our relationship successful.  Just because a man treats you right does not justify a lack of effort in a relationship nor does it mean that you should remain int he relationship because the person is nice and kind.

All of his good qualities are what made me love him, fight for our relationship, and not speak up as much as I should have. At the end of the day we had a friendship going on and not a true romantic relationship. The way things ended between us hurt me to my core and made me sad a long while. I kept going over events and decisions in our relationship to figure out what I could have changed or done better.  No matter how many times I re evaluated events and occurrences it does change the fact that we are broken up.  There are no guarantees or crystal balls in life and even if we did not break up when we did and stayed together there is no way to know if we would have lasted.  No matter how many times I replay things in my mind it does not mean things would have ended up with us being together forever  We could have just broken up at a different point in time.

 

Now, after doing my best to get over this man, I have jumped back in to the online dating realm which seems to have gotten worse than I remember it.  I’ll try my luck at meeting another man who I will be compatible with.

Below are quotes the sum up what I want in a relationship.  Hopefully I can find a man that can live up to both quotes one day.  I thought I found a man who could live up to these but apparently not since our relationship has ended.

Be on the look out for a post about my current dating adventures, mishaps, and crazy stories!  This is bound to be an interesting journey and one where I branch out and try new dating sites!  I’ll see how it goes and will keep an open mind to the process.

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Cheers to One Year!

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So, it has been one year since I started this blogging adventure!  Ian so excited that I was able to stay dedicated and blog for one whole year!  It has been a goal of mine for years to create and post on my own blog.  Now I have been successful at this after multiple failures in the blogging world.  To top it all off the one year anniversary aligned with my birthday which was yesterday and made the one year milestone that much sweeter!

At the beginning of this journey I thought that I would have no followers or readers by the end of the year and boy was I wrong.  I have been able to connect to many different individuals and it has been fantastic!  I have realized there are others that share the same views, likes, and struggles that I have and it is almost therapeutic  writing on my little corner of the internet.  It is my goal to keep this blog going for another year and continue to improve my posts.  Since I have turned another year older I have debated changing the name of the blog.  Here are some ideas below.  What do you all think?

26andrambling

Beyond the Quarterlife

Charming the South

Northern Girl in a Southern World

Maybe my next job should become a blog name generator.  I have a notebook full of blog names that I have thought of on the fly.  That would be one cool job and I would love it!

Cheers to One Year!

I am also open to ideas so what would you readers love to read or what posts would you like to see?

Does any readers and followers out there have any tips for another successful year blogging?  What strategies have worked for you?  I would love to know!

Weekly Wonders

Lush Honey Trap Lip Balm

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Recieved this lip balm in the Vanilla flavor as a Christmas gift and love it.  The smell is just right and not overpowering.  The lip balm hydrates my lips and stays on for longer than typical chapstick.  I am a fan of Lush products because they are natural and do not irritate my sensitive skin. Try out one of their lip products!  I hear they make awesome bath bombs and face stubs/cleansers.

Patricia Nash Poppy Handbag with Map print

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I love, love, love Patricia Nash bags.  Received this handbag as a gift and it is amazing.  The quality and design of the bag was designed with function in mind.  The map design is unique and beautiful.  It is so roomy and is my new everyday bag!  I have already gotten so many compliments on it!  Loving this bag so far and will purchase more map design products in the future

Scunci Evolution Hair Bands

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My holy grail of hair ties!  A co-worker lent me one of these hair bows three years ago and it was love at first ponytail!  These hair ties are not made of elastic so they last longer, don’t stretch out, and grip hair better.  Once I bought them I haven’t looked back or used elastics since.

Birkenstock Gizeh Sandals in Onyx

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Hands down my favorite shoes of all time! I could wear them all day everyday!  They came on my radar in 2008 while I worked at a summer camp.  This was just the beginning of their popularity and now I seem them around town all of the time.  In NY i was not able to wear Birks so I purchased a pair in Florida.  Best amount of money I have ever spent on shoes!  They are so comfortable and durable.  The break in period for Birks hurts like hell when you wear them.  After you break them in it is smooth sailing from there.  Eventually I will purchase another pair because I love them so much!

Dilemmas of Dating…

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So, recently I jumped back into the world of dating after taking a long overdue break.  It has been nothing short of an adventure.  It has been an interesting run so far with a few weirdos in the bunch.  Figured I’d share my experiences so far and the type of dudes I have encountered. (BTW I am not guy bashing because I’m sure there are girls who do the exact same things listed below to guys)

1.The first I’m sweet, then I turn weird and creepy guy

These guys are matched with you, have a nicely written profile, and send a nice first message (something besides, the one worded hey or sup).  After chatting for awhile they get all weird and ask you to send them pics, ask what underwear your wearing etc.  These are truly weird and creepy guys especially because they seem normal from the beginning and then do a 360 flip.  This type of behavior made think: Am I talking to the same guy I was 5 minutes ago? Steer clear of these guys but I guess at some point you are bound to run into them.

2. The Fade Aways

I really hate these guys more than any other type I mention in this post.  Basically, you hit it off with a guy and you  exchange messages, get to know each other, the convo is flowing, and then silence, nada, nothing, zero.  The guy goes fucking AWOL and just stops messaging you.  No explanation, no anything just radio silence.  Yes, it sucks because you had a good convo, thought you’d exchange numbers, or already did, and the he goes MIA on you.  This guy was most likely keeping you around as a second option until he found better and more attractive girl to talk with.  It sucks but it is what it is and will always be a part of online dating.

3. The Old School Creep

The dude that keeps visiting your profile but never messages you.  Obviously the guy is somewhat interested in you because he keeps taking peeks at your profile.  Dude, if you like what you see just message me instead of stalking my profile throughout the course of the day or week.  When you message him he does not respond and this leaves you scratching your head.  Just get over it and move on.

4. The Old Guys Scoping Out Younger Girls

Really dudes, Really?  It’s nice that you sent me a perfectly spelled  more than one word or phrase first message but the  only problem is you are old enough to be my dad.  An age difference of 8 years or greater is too much for me.  I am flattered that you took time to message me but it is just not going to work out.  I do not want to date someone close in age to my father.

5. The Misspelled Messages

I’m sorry, there is absolutely no excuse for poor grammar or basic spelling mistakes in messages.  I hate receieving messages with capital letters in the middle of words or confusing your/you’re  If you do not know how to use proper capitalization in your 20s then we should not be having a conversation and you need to re-take English 101.  Terrible grammar or spelling will not initiate a response from me and I’ll move on.

6.The Same 

This is so ridiculous and frustrating.  I swear I have seen the same men pop up in my searches  and it sucks.  It just shows how there is literally no one where I and there is nothing to here so that could be why there are not many guys coming up.

7. The One Liners

Guys who send out mass messages of hey to amy woman the see on a dating site in hopes of a response.  This is so lazy and unpersonable.  I hate when men do this because they want the woman to do all of the work and are just plain lazy.  if you are not going to take the time to read my profile then I am not wasting my time getting back to you or checking out yours.

8. The Ever Persistent Guy

The guy who keeps messaging you long after you stopped answering his messages or told him you’re not interested.  You would think he gets the hint from the lack of response/interest but he keeps flooding your inbox with messages. Sometimes requiring you to block him.  These are very annoying guys and if you ever want to land a first date you need to stop.

 

  Best first messages I have received when online dating(exactly as they typed it):

Hi can I be your SD?

No way me too!

You look good, I look good … let’s make this happen

Can I pay you to kiss your feet

I want to get u pregnant

Can we fuck?

Could you be interested in a sugar daddy?

Well if you want to swing by you can I just ordered some chop suey

I’m just guessing but you must get bombarded with messages

Can I massage your feet

Let’s hook up?

If you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cucumber

If you were a triangle you’d be a cute one!

Banana Bread Baking

Holiday time is when I bake the most during the year.  My sister, father, and I baked banana bread and it came out delicious.  Here is the recipe we used.

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Ingredients

Graesed pan of your choosing

1-1/3 cups all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon slat

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

2/3 cup  brown sugar

4 1/3 butter unsalted

2 large eggs lightly beaten

1 cup mashes bananas

1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2.In a large bowl combine the flour, salt, baking soda, and baking powder

3.Place the butter and sugar into the flour mixture

4.Mix on high speed until lightened in color and texture

5.Add the eggs into the mixture  and beat until combined

6.  Add the bananas and pecans until combined

7. Scrape the batter into the pan and spread evenly.

8.Bake  for 50- 60 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean

9. Enjoy!

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Bye Felicia: To my year of firsts

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In the blink of an eye another year has come and gone.  It truly feels like I just celebrated 2015 and wondered what  adventures would come during the year.  Now it’s time to say adieu 2015 and welcome in another new year.  But first, a recap of 2015!   Well, 2015 has proven very eventful since  numerous changes and adventures occurred during the course of the year.  The year started off with a bang as many firsts were tackled in the wee hours of 2015.  After,  changes kept on coming with some being more beneficial than others.  All of the changes caused 2015 to be a memorable year aka the year of firsts.

Firsts tackled in 2015: 

New Year’s celebration without my friends

First New Year’s outside of my hometown in NY

First time living in an apartment

Living outside of NY

Road trip to NY

Visiting Milan and Rome in Italy

Building shelves

Moving into a new house

Driving everyday: in NY I took mass transit

Not having snow in the winter

Increasing my confidence to talk to people

Redo and decorate my new room

Working at one of the most interesting schools ever

Flying solo during my overseas trip (longest flight ever)

Learning the power of my voice and how to stand up for myself and handle thing son my own

Actually dealing with my issues head on

Getting rid of toxic friends

Shooting guns at a shooting range

NHL game

First time seeing the Yankees play

Canoeing down a river

Writing in my journal everyday

Finding my holy grail makeup

Learning to let things go an just be as they are

Use new tools and  built a shelf

Cooking and baking new recipes

Learn to just go with the flow and realize that everything happens for a reason

 

So, it’s time to say bye Felicia to 2015 and hello 2016. 2016 will be my year yes.  New things will be tried within reason of course and I will say yes to everything.

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Music Mood ft. The Dirty Heads

This has been another eclectic week of music.  My taste has varied from Christmas to rock to pop( maybe that’s how it usually is besides the Christmas tunes lol).

  1. Merry Christmas Baby: Bruce Springsteen
  2. Wildest Dreams: Taylor Swift
  3. Stand Tall: The Dirty Heads**  
  4. Check the Level:   The Dirty Heads
  5. Back Home: Andy Grammer
  6. Santa Clause is Coming to Town: Bruce Springsteen
  7. House Party: Sam Hunt
  8. Dominick the Donkey: Lou Monte
  9. Mama’s Broken Heart: Miranda Lambert
  10. Go Big or Go Home: American Authors
  11. Christmas Wrapping: The Waitresses
  12. Babel: Mumford and Sons

 

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** Funny story about The Dirty Heads: In college I discovered them through Youtube and was hooked on their songs. I downloaded all of them!! This was circa 2008 they were not as popular as they are now, their songs were not on the radio, my friends didn’t know who they were, and most importantly I loved the songs I heard.  The songs I downloaded are still on my IPod today  I fell in love with them and their songs but only had their songs from 2008.  When I heard My Sweet Summer on the radio I was like something about this songs, melody, sounds so familiar and when they announced the artist I knew why!

So yes I knew this band before they were cool (JK they were always cool!) and on the radio.  Their older songs are still my favorite!  So guys if you happen to read and or see this Congrats on the success and I still love your music!!

Favorite Dirty Head Songs 

2008 songs (all are still on my iPod and under The Dirty Heads not Dirty Heads)

Check the Level

Driftin’

Lay Me Down

Stand Tall

I Got No TIme

Everything I’m Looking For

Check the Level

Believe