So, last weekend some friends and I went to a bar crawl around my neighborhood. It was fun and I had an absolute blast! However, I was not expecting things to get deep and revelational with my friends. It could have been the alcohol talking but what they said and topics they touched upon hit a nerve with me. The convo focused on a topic that I did not want to focus on but was probably meant to be focused of on that day: relationships. It was one of those things that just seemed to happen at the right time under completely odd circumstances. So let me not leave you hanging and dive into what the pub-crawl and alcohol my friend’s consumed reveal. Like the saying goes the only honest people are children and drunks.
Some friends at the pub crawl are in either new or long term relationships. So, of course we talk about relationships and guys. I mention how I am single, looking for a compatible man, exes, and what makes a good relationship. I was saying how I wish that I was in a relationship because most of my friends are in long term relationships, engaged, or married. For me it is frustrating to see others find a good companion and I am struggling to even get dates. It is like I want to give up and just be single for the rest of my life. I know the former statement is totally ridiculous but at this rate I am batting zero.
One of my friends who is in a long term relationship and getting ready to move in with her boyfriend basically vented and said things that I didn’t want to hear and never thought about. She was a bit drunk so it could be the alcohol talking but she basically said that I am lucky to be single. My jaw nearly hit the floor. She said that I was lucky because I was able to do what I wanted and go wherever I please without worrying about a significant other. She said that couples and relationships can seem perfect from the outside but you do not know what things are like behind closed doors or what is not shown on social media. She gave up certain things for her relationship like going out with friends on weekends, certain freedoms, hanging out with just her friends or family. She has to accommodate her boyfriend and deal with some people she didn’t like or she could not just go out by herself sometimes or felt guilty when she did. Basically, she said that I should not rush or wish that I was in a serious relationship because you do not know the sacrifices people make and ultimately give up certain freedoms you have when you are single. SO, guess I realized that maybe not all couples are truly happy and that some people stay in unsatisfying relationships due to societal or family pressures or to keep up with the Jonses. Also, my friend maybe was being for than a bit honest because she was drunk and possibly not fully happy in her current relationship.
For now I am single and will continue to search for a man that is my perfect fit. I mean there is a little part of me that wants to experience the love that my friends are experiencing. That is what I want right now is love and companionship.
No, this has nothing to do with attracting guys. I had a feeling you would be thinking that based on the above section. This had to do with a more philosophical approach to life and thoughts. is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life. The simple version of this is that we attract whatever we think about good or bad.
My friends basically told me instead of comparing myself to my non-single friends and wishing I had what they had I should be happy for them, I should change my way of thinking about seeking a relationship and how I feel about others relationships. If I bring out positive vibes about those topics then positive vibes will come back to me. This positive thinking applies to every thing in life. Basically this was a wake up call to me and that I need to start viewing things in a more positive light and get a little happier. I should not envy what people have or what type of relationships they are in. Instead I should be supportive and happy for them and wish them the best and that their relationship flourishes. This was an awesome conversation I had with some of my friends and one that was surely uncommon to be discussed int he middle of a bar with drunkards all around. I have realized that septimes good and needed things happen in the most unusual places. This was one of those times and it was a conversation that has impacted me for the better. But that is some serious stuff going on at the bar.
The above topics and conversations helped make the bar crawl very memorable. If this is what the first one looks like then I can’t imagine hat the next pub-crawl will look like. I am so excited to see what happens anss what things we talk about next.