Break up Blues and the Single Life

So, as you readers know my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago.  I’m not going to lie it was not an easy break up and took me awhile to work through the emotions from it.  In fact I am still processing things.  The hardest thing is missing the way he made me feel, his hugs, kisses, cuddling, and the fact that he was alway there to listen and talk things out with me.  It sucks when a person who was such a big part of your life leaves you and does not fight for your relationship.

Since, it has been months since the breakup I have thrown myself back into the dating pool.  It has been so dissapointing and made me miss my ex more than ever.  I am going into everything with an open mind but none of the men I have gone on dates with have lived up to my standards and expectations.  I do my best not to compare my dates to my ex but I wan to find someone who makes me feel like I did when I was with my ex. So far all I have found are guys who have no clue how to plan a date, the socially inept guys, narcissists, and players who just want sex.  My prospects are not looking too good.  I even asked friends if they knew any singles guys or if their significant others did but no luck there.

At times like these I just want my ex and would do anything to change the outcome of our relationship.  I had a connection with him that I did not have with any other guy I ever dated.  He treated me so well but he did not prioritize our relationship. I was like fourth on his list.  it went family, work, friends, sports, me.   I looked passed that for a long time because I loved him.  To me that was  a small problem in our relationship.  I am the one who always gives more without comparing or tit for tat.  But I guess it was causing more issues than I thought I let it all boil up which did not benefit our relationship.

Recently, I have been down and had the breakup blues.  I think of all the memories that we shared and could have shared, how he treated me, and how I felt around him which was always safe and comfortable.  We could just talk about anything together.  If I did not have a certain conversation one day then it would not have spurred him to break up with me.  I know that the last sentence is silly because even if that conversation didn’t take place it does not mean that our relationship would have continued for years and years.  But in my heart I truly feel that if I had decided to have that particular conversation after the holidays things would have worked out better.  Not saying how long we would have lasted because I can not predict the future.

Now, all I need to help me move on and get out of this funk is to find a man who causes me to have the same feelings that my ex did.  I want to experience the same feelings that I felt with my ex.  It’s like we were connected and could just tell how each other felt and what they were thinking without saying a word.  But of course everything wasn’t peachy keen otherwise we would not have broken up. I just want the new guy to make me feel safe, comfortable, listened to, and communicative with me about feelings, issues, and positive things.

I know it is crazy to think this way but since I have started dating again it just hasn’t been the same.  I just wonder where my ex and I would be at this point and how our relationship would have developed.  I know I need to just get over things but it is way more difficult than I thought.      But being back in the dating world has both helped and hindered me. It makes me see what a great man my ex was compared to the guys I have chatted with.  Seriously, there are some douche bags out there in world.

Realistically, I know things between us are done but i do cling to that tiny bit of hope where he will want to talk to me again and we will be friends. But, I know that it will not happen or he would have done it already. I also know that neither my breakup or relationship was as bad as others. Our differences lied in the following our views of relationship priority, his lack of communication skills about various topics and emotions.  But what’s done is done and there is no use crying over spilled milk.

What have you guys and gals done in situations like this?  What has helped you get over an ex? How long did it take you to get over an ex?  Have any of you reunited with an ex after certain period of time?

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