To the next woman in his life….

I had the idea for this post after reflecting on all of the good times my ex and I have shared and the reasons why our relationship lasted so long without major problems.  This is what I would have to say if I was ever asked about or had to talk about my ex or need to give advice to the next woman in his life.

To the next woman who will date my ex,

First off, let me say that you are a lucky gal because you found a man who is respectful, will care about you, keep you safe, listen to you, remember the little things you say, make sure you got home safe, and not pressure you to do anything that is not comfortable.  There are not many men in the dating scene who are like this and all of the above qualities are important in a relationship.  You are probably surprised that I  am having a positive take and not jumping on the negative train and bashing my ex.  Yes, there were qualities that made us incompatible or things in our relationship that he did not want to compromise on like giving up a Friday night out with his co-workers to spend time with me.  Another big thing is that if  you live far from his town it will be a struggle to get him to visit you because he doesn’t like to drive too far or he will come up with an excuse as to why he can’t make it up your way.  Some of those items above might be major issues for you but both of you should  try your hardest to work through the issues.  Look for the good despite the bad and remember why the both of you began dating in the first place.  That will help a lot trust me!

Everyone has unlikable e traits and both parties contribute to a relationship failure.  There are things I did or said that caused some problems in our relationship.  I am not perfect and neither is he but he is genuine and will do his best in the relationship.  Its just sometimes what he thinks is best is not good enough and is not enough to make the relationship work (at least in my relationship with him).  Also, settling is not good either and neither of you should settle on each other.  Both of you should be head over heels in love with each other.  So never settle and do not continue the relationship if you feel like you are settling.  It will be better to say how you are feeling than lead him on.  Please do not hurt his feelings.  That he does not deserve!  He deserves to be treated with respect and care.

It is important to be patient with him because he moves slower than other men and it will take him time to open up to you.   Just be there for him and  if you go fast slow down a bit for him.  He will listen to what you are saying and try but it does not mean things will change within your relationship and might cause frictions between the two of you.  Yes, relationships are not perfect but make sure you always communicate even about the tough stuff.  He might not like that you are being straight up with him and he will get defensive and complain but this is important.  Never just sit back and let things fester because then it will blow up in both of your faces. we never screamed or yelled at each other but always talked things out even if it was tough stuff.  For me it was always about the open line of communication.  This helped us work through things not everything but majority of things.  So, do that even if it is awkward or hurtful.  Something that festers is not good an leads to even more problems.

My advice to you is to enjoy the moments you spend together and be happy that you found one of the good guys.  The guy that will always listen, care about you, and want you to be a part of his life, he might be a bit shy and a tad bit awkward but he is well worth it and an upstanding guy.  So, definitely work through the tough stuff and so everything you can to stay together.  Show him that you will not give up and sometimes you might need to be blunt for him to realize your feelings or how things are affecting you.  But most important of all do not give up on this relationship and do whatever you can to make it work!  You have fantastic guy so be thankful and appreciate everything that you have in the relationship and if things do not work out try to end things well.  try to part o n good terms.  Ours was not on that great of terms and it sucked for me.  But I still wish him well and hope that you both respect and treat each other right!

Best wish,

His past girlfriend





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