Music Mood

It was forever ago that I published one of these posts!  I became inspired to write one again after listening to an old iPod I  found.  On it was all the music I listened to in high school and college.  It definitely gave me nostalgia and was a blast from the past!  I love when stations play older songs!

All The Small Things: Blink-182

Sugar We’re Going Down: Fall Out Boy

I Write Sins Not Tragedies: Pan!c at the Disco

How To Save a Life: The Fray

American Idiot: Green Day

Gives You Hell: The All American Rejects

Independence: The Band Perry

Anything but Ordinary: Avril Lavigne

The Great Escape: Boys Like Girls

Let it Rock: Kevin Rudolf

Mr. Brightside: The Killers

Trouble: P!nk

Rhythm of Love: Plain White T’s

What are some of your favorite songs or bands from back in the day?

Advertisements

First and Only Birchbox

So, I was so excited to order my first Birchbox for the month of December after hearing so many good things about it from friends.  Of course they convinced me to subscribe and I was excited to see that my BirchBox arrived in the mail this afternoon.  It was packaged nicely and liked that there was a card describing all of the products included in the box. Since this was a holiday box a small mirror was included. This is sweet but cannot be used for travel or in purse do to the fact that it is only one sided without a cover to protect the mirror.  So this item was a waste for the company to make and waste to place in the box.  This mirror will probably be headed to the trash because there is no way to keep it from getting scratched or broken.

Now on to the fun stuff!  The items in the box!  I am so happy that there were no perfume samples in here because I hate those.

IPKN Radiant Cream Primer

This is such a simple product design and it is so adorable!  This is a primer and has SPF 15 in it. I will let you know how this product feels and works.  I occasionally use primer in my makeup routine.  I should probably use primer more often than I should.  So I will let you know how it goes.

Real Chemistry Luminous 3 minute Peel

I am nervous about this product due to my sensitive skin.  This could irritate my skin so I’ll see what happens after I use it.  It will be my first peel mask.

Wilma Schumann European Skincare: Hydrating Collagen Eye Pads

This product looks very fancy.  I have not used eye pads before and am willing to try them out.  I am not a fan of these types of products and do not use anything like them in my skincare routine.  Since there is only one set of pads I do not know if I would be able to see a difference in the skin around my eyes after only one use.

Ardency Inn: Modster Eyeliner

This eyeliner is supposed to be waterproof so I will see if that is true.  I am not a fan of eyeliner and it is not part of my daily makeup routine.  I will try it or give it to a family member or friend to try it out and report on the results.

Amika: Perk Up Dry Shampoo

I am excited to try this dry shampoo!  It smells amazing and the bottle is adorable!  I due use dry shampoo on my hair so that I do not have to wash it or use the blow dryer on my hair.  I have seen a vast improvement in the quality of my hair from doing this.  I will have to let you know how it goes when I use this product.

Overall, I was not sure impressed with this box.  It is more like samples I could get from Sephora for products that I do not really use or need.  So far Birchbox does not seem like it is worth the money each month.  I will stay subscribed until next month to see what products are sent.  If I like the products I will stay subscribed.  It the products are lackluster I will stop subscribing to the service.  I’ll keep you posted.

Have any of you tried these products? If so, what do you think of them?

Also is Birchbox worth it in the long run?  I was not super impressed with my first box.

**An update to this post since it was written awhile ago and I have had time with the products that Birchbox sent to me.   All of the products seemed like quality products but were not ones I would use frequently with the exception of one product.  The dry shampoo I have loved so much.  It worked well and smells amazing!  Overall I was not impressed with the products sent to me and that can be due to the fact that I do not use many of those products.  I will not be subscribing to Birchbox again due to my lack of interest int he products of the first box. 

The Margarita Confessionals

So, I was looking stuff up on the internet and stumbled upon this website Sound Cloud  featuring podcasts of The Margarita Confessionals.  The name was catchy and the topics were right up my alley so there was nothing else to do besides  hit play.  Of course their focus is on dating, current dating trends, online dating apps, and dating struggles.  Majority of the topics covered are relatable to me in my life at this time and my dating situation.  I enjoyed what I heard and thought both Ali & Lauren were entertaining.  Since it was a site called Sound Cloud, as its I was not that familiar with, I googled Margarita confessionals to see if their was website.  There was and of course I clicked around.  It is a nicely designed website and I liked reading how both women created the idea for The Margarita Confessionals.  It is very creative name and it is crazy to see how a simple idea they had came to fruition for both women.  If you are in a dating rut, have dating on your mind, or are looking for something interesting to listen to definitely check out their website and take a listen to what they have.

The Margarita Confessionals: http://www.themargaritaconfessionals.com

The Margarita Confessionals Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/themargaritaconfessionals

Go check out the above links today!

 

All across the board…

Since, I seem to be on a roll of using various dating apps/sites I have come across common themes across majority of apps and sites.  It is freaky how similar things are across the board.  So, here you have it, the things that are the same throughout online dating

Men with their puppies, cats, monkeys, tigers etc.

There are so many pictures of men with some type of animal it is so annoying.  It is like guys think this is the new thing since sliced bread.  There are more men and animal pictures than I can count and it does make me want to swipe right or message the guy.  I am sick of seeing these photos on dating sites.  These photos are not cute anymore because most men I see are posting photos with one of the animals listed above.  The most annoying photos of this category are the monkey and tiger photos.  First off tigers are animals that are supposed to be looked at and admired.  They are not supposed to be petted or featured in online dating photos.  Also, the monkey pictures freak me out.  Most of them are with squirrel monkeys on leashes that are climbing on the men or the men are holding them. These are not attractive and these should not be on a dating site.  If there are any of the latter two types of photos in a man’s profile I will move on to the next profile.  Something about men with animals photos just rubs me the wrong way.  The dog and cat cat photos are acceptable if the pet is not featured in every photo on the profile.  But overall majority of profiles have at least one animal photo.  It is too much and overrated at this point.

Gym Selfies

I hate gym selfies!  Big do I loather gym selfies.  When I go to gym I am going to get healthy and actually work out.  I am not there to pose for selfies in the mirror.  I see so many of the gym selfies posted on online dating profiles and it these photos also cause me to move on to the next profile.  To me the photos portray a man as conceited, vain, and too caught up in their looks.  Yes, I get that going to the gym is good and helps keep you healthy but I do not need to see you working out or your big muscles.  This might attract many women but it does not attract me.  Yes, looks are important in a relationship but to me personality and intelligence trump looks.  You can be the hottest man in the world and be a jerk or a drip.  I would take a man who has a great personality and can hold a conversation over a man who looks like a model.  So, gym selfies do not impress me.  Men just post normal pictures of you and your life.  You might get more messages and attract some nice girls.

Mirror and Shirtless Selfies

Mirror and shirtless selfies are pictures are hates just as much as the gym selfies.  I hate seeing you take a picture in a mirror or of your abs.  Again I will reiterate the point of intelligence and personality ranking higher than looks for me.  I would take an average looking man who can make me laugh and talk with me over a hot dude who is all about his looks.  I am one of the woman who is realistic about her looks and knows what type of men will be attracted to her and plus it is so superficial and egotistical to post shirtless or mirror selfies.

Junk pictures

Guys, just do not post this picture!  This is a big no-no especially for me.  To me these guys are just looking for sex or want to display there manliness in case women are into that.  I mean there are women who are into those photos but they are the ones who are just looking for casual sex or hook ups.  Also, I would be extremely leary of a man who openly posts photos like this on any dating site.  They are not worth my time and I just pass by their profile.  I just can not believe that there are douchey men out there and it is such a big turn off for me.  Sites should ban these photos or disable the profile of men who post these types of photos.

The that is not my kid but my niece, nephew, or God-child  photos

These photos annoy me so much.  I guess men are trying to portray that they are good with kids or something to that extent but it is annoying.  These men always feel the need to explain or put a caption that those are not their kids in the pictures.  If you do not want women to think that those are your kids just do not post photos with the kids or cut them out of the pictures.  It is so annoying to see photos like this with the comment.  I am sure that there are other photos that can be posted instead of ones where you feel like you have to put something about it not being your kids. Just do not do it guys, just don’t.

Just the head or chest up photos

What is this a modeling agency or something.  Headshots or top body shots are just silly to post.  Potential dates want to see you doing things and with friends etc.  It is ok to have one or two of your photos like this but when all of the photos are head shots it is worrisome.  Are you that afraid of your looks or how you will be perceived that you cannot post one full shot of your body.  Everybody has issues with their bodies and still post photos.  I have issues with my body but I post current .  There should be a variety of pictures and not just  only head shots.  Post more pictures so that men and women can see the full you.

I am not ranking on men in this post but am merely writing what I have observed throughout my online dating experience.  Yes, women are guilty of posting all of the above types of photos on their profiles. The types of pictures mentioned above can be applied to men and women.  I would not post any of the above pictures currently but I have posted a mirror selfie before.  Both women and men are guilty of the above and can generate better responses and quality of the viewers  if they did not post many of the photos listed above.  These are just the trends I have seen while trying my luck at online dating.

Dating Apps Decoded

So, since I decided to jump back into the online dating world I figured I would put myself out there and try a variety of dating apps and websites. I figured I would write about my experience and see what some of my readers experiences were when using online dating apps.  Also, heads up that this will be one of my longer posts on the blog.

Bumble

Word in the street is that this app is the Tinder for women.  The females have all of the power on this app.  Women can swipe left or right, need to initiate the conversation with their matches within twenty four hours or they will lose the match.  Once a conversation is started the match has twenty four hours to respond or the match will be closed.  I like how women need to get the conversation flowing on Bumble.  It is the role reversal of Tinder.  Women need to think of good conversation starters and opening lines to entice men to repsond.  That is what men would do on Tinder and other sites.  Maybe women will realize that being the first to start a conversation with something besides hey can be difficult and daunting.  Now the women need to wait for responses and the men get to filter through the messages and decided if they would respond or not.  On Bumble the shoe is now on the other foot for both men and women while using this app.

 I have been on here for about two weeks and have not any success yet.  I have managed to match with men and begin convo with them and then they just ghost on me.  Also, I have encountered people who are just in the area for business or vacation etc..  Their  location says they are in my area and then when we start conversing they are upfront and say they are in the area for a short time or just looking for a hook up  while they are here.  That is totally fine but that is not what I am looking for on this app.  So far I have not had any dates due to most people I conversed with not being from the area or the man would stop responding.   Another thing I have noticed is that there are not many guys in my area or within the radius that I would prefer.  I have to keep increasing my radius to find matches which sucks because I really do not want to travel that far.  I could just be really picky but a: there are not many choices for my preferred radius which is pretty generous (25-30 miles) and b: I am not finding a ton of men that I am attracted to on this app.  So, as of yet no success on this app but I will keep plugging away and see if anything happens.  How have your experiences been using Bumble?  Have any of you found success or met anyone in person or off of the site?  If yes, How did it go?

Tinder

The infamous hook up app.  I was very leary before trying out this app due to its reputation but I figured,what the hell can happen?  The worst case scenarios are that I have some crazy stories to tell, I delete the app, or fins another app to use.  Since this is Tinder I understand that I will get hook up requests and boring messages that I do on other sites but thats cool because that happens on any dating site.  One reason I am trying this app besides curiosity is that one of my best friends found success on Tinder despite its rep.  She has been dating her boyfriend for about eight months and things have been great between them.   Finally after her nagging me for a bit to just try it out I caved and gave Tinder a shot.  To my surprise I have hit it off with a few guys on Tinder.  Some of the conversations have been so good that we have moved to texting and I have a date set up with one of the guys.  I am excited to see what happens but am hesitant because it is online dating and you never know what is going happen. As of now I will see how the date goes and am hopeful that it will go well and lead to a second date.  As of now I am going with no expectations and expecting some awkwardness and weirdness but overall I am interested to see where this goes.  I’ll do a post about how the date goes and if the guy is a creep or just your average joe looking for love.

 I have surprised myself and have found some decent guys on Tinder who are not out for a hookup or friends with benefits.  So, ladies there is hope out there in the Tinder universe for dating  but it does take screening and time to find the good guys.   Readers, let me know your Tinder experiences and what you think of the app?

CoffeemeetsBagel

This app was all the rage in NYC starting about three years ago.  I have heard of this app for  a while but was not looking to date at the time so I never downloaded it or looked into how the app works.  Since I am back into the dating world again I looked into what all the hype was about CoffeemeetsBagel.  I liked that point off the app is to get the man and woman to exchange numbers and get off of the app and meet in person.  The way the app works is that you set up a profile and then everyday at noon you receive bagels (matches) that you can like or pass.  If you do not receive a bagel (match) then you get a free pick and choose from a bunch of matches.  When I first had this app I found that I was getting a good amount of matches to pick from each day but the longer I had the app the less matches I would receive.  I have had some good conversations with guys on here and have went on a date with  a man who I met on this site.  The date went well and we did go on a few dates but it didn’t work out long term.  I do not know anyone that has used this app before so I just kind of tried it on a whim to see how the app worked.  How have your experiences been with the app?  Have you met anyone in person from the app?  How did it go?  Thoughts in general about the app?  Let me know in the comments below.

OKCupid

This is not a bad site.  It does require a lot of filtering of men and messages.   I have gotten men uncreative, rude, or creepy.  It does require you to actually read the profile, look at pictures etc. and not just messaging back and forth without checking the profile out.  I have mixed feelings about this site.  From my experience let’s just say that there are weirdos and creeps out there.  There are a lot of them and it total changed my attitudes this site and dating people from this site.  I mean I am just picky and really filter who I message and talk to on here.  So, far my experiences here have been decent but I have not been using this app as much as I have in the past.  Now I am using some of the newer apps that I have found.

 I have gone on dates with guys from the site.  They weren’t bad but I am picky with who I meet and talk to on the site.  That is just me I am picky and don’t want to waste my time. This is a good site to try if you do not want to pay for a membership and know what you are looking for then you can hopefully find success on this site.

What are your opinions of using OkCupid?  If there are success stories or horror stories I want to hear about it so leave a comment in the comment section below.  Let me know!

Eharmony

I saved the best for last!  This is one of the most successful dating site I have heard of.  I know of two people that have met their significant others or current spouse using this site.  I have tried this site and have a love hate relationship with it.  I have had a long term relationship from this site almost a year long.  They guy I dated was great and that we were a good pair but there were some differences that could not be worked out which led to our break up.  Despite us not working out the quality of matches were a bit better than other sites I have tried and were in the radius that I specified on my settings preferences.  I did pay for a subscription for this app and it is pricy.  I only did the one month subscription because I did not want to get locked into three months of payment and dislike the site.  I know if I paid for three months than I would not get my money back whereas if I only paid for a month then I would be totally done after the month was up.

Since the above is a bit wish mossed here is what I like about the site.  The matches were better than other sites I have tried and more educated.  Also, the matches were sent to me and I did not have to filter through matches as much as I did on other dating sites.  This part is nice and many of the men I chatted with have had common topics to discuss.  The one thing that I did not like is that you could not tell who is a paying member and who is not.  That frustrated me because many of your matches might be using the site anymore.  This is a waste of everyones time and eHarmony should get rid of the profiles of non paying members or those who are no longer subscribed.  Also, I would get a bunch of matches who are outside of my radius and way too far to meet in person.  I am not looking for a long distance relationship and it frustrated me that I would get a decent number of matches who are out of state.  I did not specify that I was looking for someone out of state and eHarmony should follow the radius I set as best it can.  I would rather get less matches who meet my criteria than many matches who are out of state and way to far to commute to. But overall I did have a pleasant experience sign this site and would consider joining again in the future but at this time it is way to expensive for me to re-subscribe.  In the future I would consider re starting my subscription.  I would recommend that people try this site at least once due to its high success rate and less filtering and crazy messages received on this site.  Most people are looking for long term relationships on this site so odds are better at finding a match than OkCupid or Tinder.

How have your experiences been using eHarmony?  Have anyone have any success stories from eHarmony?  if you did I would like to hear about it.  Leave a comment below with you experiences.

Now you have it and that is my opinions and experiences on various dating apps and sites.  Feel free to comment to what site and apps you like or have used.

To the next woman in his life….

I had the idea for this post after reflecting on all of the good times my ex and I have shared and the reasons why our relationship lasted so long without major problems.  This is what I would have to say if I was ever asked about or had to talk about my ex or need to give advice to the next woman in his life.

To the next woman who will date my ex,

First off, let me say that you are a lucky gal because you found a man who is respectful, will care about you, keep you safe, listen to you, remember the little things you say, make sure you got home safe, and not pressure you to do anything that is not comfortable.  There are not many men in the dating scene who are like this and all of the above qualities are important in a relationship.  You are probably surprised that I  am having a positive take and not jumping on the negative train and bashing my ex.  Yes, there were qualities that made us incompatible or things in our relationship that he did not want to compromise on like giving up a Friday night out with his co-workers to spend time with me.  Another big thing is that if  you live far from his town it will be a struggle to get him to visit you because he doesn’t like to drive too far or he will come up with an excuse as to why he can’t make it up your way.  Some of those items above might be major issues for you but both of you should  try your hardest to work through the issues.  Look for the good despite the bad and remember why the both of you began dating in the first place.  That will help a lot trust me!

Everyone has unlikable e traits and both parties contribute to a relationship failure.  There are things I did or said that caused some problems in our relationship.  I am not perfect and neither is he but he is genuine and will do his best in the relationship.  Its just sometimes what he thinks is best is not good enough and is not enough to make the relationship work (at least in my relationship with him).  Also, settling is not good either and neither of you should settle on each other.  Both of you should be head over heels in love with each other.  So never settle and do not continue the relationship if you feel like you are settling.  It will be better to say how you are feeling than lead him on.  Please do not hurt his feelings.  That he does not deserve!  He deserves to be treated with respect and care.

It is important to be patient with him because he moves slower than other men and it will take him time to open up to you.   Just be there for him and  if you go fast slow down a bit for him.  He will listen to what you are saying and try but it does not mean things will change within your relationship and might cause frictions between the two of you.  Yes, relationships are not perfect but make sure you always communicate even about the tough stuff.  He might not like that you are being straight up with him and he will get defensive and complain but this is important.  Never just sit back and let things fester because then it will blow up in both of your faces. we never screamed or yelled at each other but always talked things out even if it was tough stuff.  For me it was always about the open line of communication.  This helped us work through things not everything but majority of things.  So, do that even if it is awkward or hurtful.  Something that festers is not good an leads to even more problems.

My advice to you is to enjoy the moments you spend together and be happy that you found one of the good guys.  The guy that will always listen, care about you, and want you to be a part of his life, he might be a bit shy and a tad bit awkward but he is well worth it and an upstanding guy.  So, definitely work through the tough stuff and so everything you can to stay together.  Show him that you will not give up and sometimes you might need to be blunt for him to realize your feelings or how things are affecting you.  But most important of all do not give up on this relationship and do whatever you can to make it work!  You have fantastic guy so be thankful and appreciate everything that you have in the relationship and if things do not work out try to end things well.  try to part o n good terms.  Ours was not on that great of terms and it sucked for me.  But I still wish him well and hope that you both respect and treat each other right!

Best wish,

His past girlfriend

 

 

 

So Love Sucks …

So, My last relationship crashed and burned after 10 months.  It started out good and we were both infatuated with each other.  As our relationship progressed there were differences that he did not want to work through.  Differences were not major but to him they were. It was things like,   It was devastating because I had invested so much into the relationship and thought we would be together for a long time.  However, I felt undervalued during our relationship and not seen as a priority.  For him it was family, work, friends, hockey/soccer, then Amanda (me).  I was basically worked into his schedule at his convience.  That is not how a relationship is supposed to work.  I understand work and family being at the top of a priority list before a relationship but putting friends, co-workers, and sports above me is just wrong.

There were signs throughout the course of the relationship that demonstrated that his lack of prioritizing me.  Two major occurrences were asking me to spend time with him for five hours on one weekend because he had to go to the hockey game with his friends.  Stupid me would drive out to see him for five hours because that was the only time I would get to see him all week.  Another thing that caused issues in our relationship was his refusal to give up or invite me to hang out with his co-workers or friends on Friday nights.  I asked him if he could give up one or two Fridays  with his buddies so that we could spend more time together and he balked at the idea.  Both of those things  should have been red flags about how committed he was to me and our relationship. Since he didn’t give up Friday nights we  hardly spent time together.  We would see each other once a week or for a few hours over a weekend.  That is the only time I would see him for the whole week and it sucked.  Looking back it was more like a friendship than a relationship.The quote below sums up the above and it’s so sad that things were not ended sooner.  But hey you live and you learn and I will not make that mistake again.

Signs that my relationship was doomed:

  • I was not a priority in the relationship
  • He never called on the phone or wanted to talk on the phone
  • Never wanted to come visit me in my town or at my place (we lived about 40 min drive from each other)
  • Never gave up a Friday night with co-workers or invited me to hangout out with them during the 10 months
  • Thought it was acceptable to see me for 5 hours and then I had to wait seven days to see him again
  • We never spent a whole weekend  together (Fri-Sun or Sat.& Sun) while we were dating.  There was always an excuse of how he had to visit friends or family the next day so I would have leave in the morning or not stay the night
  • Whenever I communicated something that bothered me he always got defensive
  • Never expressed his feelings: like if things were bothering him
  • Never expressed emotion or said how he was feeling about the relationship
  • Never wanted to discuss emotions or feelings in the relationship

I am not bashing him at all because the success of our relationship did not have anything to do with how he treated me.  He was a gentleman, was very nice, and respectful toward me.  However, niceness does not mean that a romantic relationship is going to work or is meant to be.  Despite his gentlemanly status, he was not ready to be in a romantic relationship (at least one with me) based on the lack of prioritization, lack of emotional communication, and hardly ant effort put into making our relationship successful.  Just because a man treats you right does not justify a lack of effort in a relationship nor does it mean that you should remain int he relationship because the person is nice and kind.

All of his good qualities are what made me love him, fight for our relationship, and not speak up as much as I should have. At the end of the day we had a friendship going on and not a true romantic relationship. The way things ended between us hurt me to my core and made me sad a long while. I kept going over events and decisions in our relationship to figure out what I could have changed or done better.  No matter how many times I re evaluated events and occurrences it does change the fact that we are broken up.  There are no guarantees or crystal balls in life and even if we did not break up when we did and stayed together there is no way to know if we would have lasted.  No matter how many times I replay things in my mind it does not mean things would have ended up with us being together forever  We could have just broken up at a different point in time.

 

Now, after doing my best to get over this man, I have jumped back in to the online dating realm which seems to have gotten worse than I remember it.  I’ll try my luck at meeting another man who I will be compatible with.

Below are quotes the sum up what I want in a relationship.  Hopefully I can find a man that can live up to both quotes one day.  I thought I found a man who could live up to these but apparently not since our relationship has ended.

Be on the look out for a post about my current dating adventures, mishaps, and crazy stories!  This is bound to be an interesting journey and one where I branch out and try new dating sites!  I’ll see how it goes and will keep an open mind to the process.