The Crazy World of Online Dating…


I’ve been doing this online dating thing for awhile now with mixed results.  Well actually hardly any results except for the realizations that some dudes are cray-cray and creepy.  Here is what I learned so far:

  1. Guys will say anything just to hook up with you or get you to come over
  2. Some guys just want to sext with you and never actually meet up
  3. Please, please, please do not send an unsolicited dick pic to a woman.  It is a total turn off and is just plain rude.
  4. Men who message you from out of town or say they are on a business trip just want a hookup and are not looking for anything more than that.
  5. You will have more failures than successes.
  6. Prepare to have your inbox flooded with the following: hi,sup, your beautiful, Can I lick your feet? and other creepy messages.
  7. When you do meet a guy from the site it might not work out.
  8. Many times men ghost on you mid-conversation.  This totally sucks!
  9. Sometimes said ghoster from above begins another convo with you because nothing happened with the other chicks he was messaging.
  10. Some guys will insult you or over compliment you and think it’s ok to keep the conversation going.  No dude, I’m way past done. Did you not get the hint after I told you off.  I am not flattered when you keep saying I’m pretty or have a nice body.  You do not even know the first thing about me.
  11. Some men cut right to the chase and ask for sex or other favors.  This is fine by me because it helps people get to the point and assists me in weeding guys out.  If you ask for any of the above things I just delete your message and continue my search.
  12. Men we do judge your profile picture. Make sure your first one is decent and not one of you making a kiss face or of you taking a bathroom mirror selfie.  If your profile picture is bad I will not check out your profile.
  13. I never message guys whose photos have kiss faces, all shirtless selfies, pics of down there, them constantly drinking or smoking etc.
  14. You will come across the infamous “this is not my kid” captioned photo. Men if you do not want ladies to think you have kids do not post any pics with your niece, nephew, god child etc.  No photos with kids means there will be no confusion of your parenting status.
  15. Some men do not use correct spelling or grammar and I judge men really harshly for it.  A few typos here and there are fine but when you can’t spell quiet correctly there is a problem.  Numerous guys have quiet spelled as quite or put your instead of you’re.  Those are spelling and grammar 101 mistakes, my friend, and you should go back to elementary school.  Learn how to type, spell, and use grammar before messaging women.
  16. If I see another picture of guys with their dogs, cats, lizards etc. I am going to scream.  I get that you love your pet(s) but don’t include them in all of your pictures.  This portrays you as loving your pet way too much and that you have no life.
  17. Stalking a woman’s profile or flooding her inbox with messages will only get you blocked.  If I type “I no longer want to talk to you are am not interested in you” please be respectful.  A man comes across as desperate and a stalker if he keeps trying to contact a woman numerous times after being rejected or ignored by her.
  18. In the you should message me section of the profile some men have a laundry list of things that they don’t want and no qualities listed of what they would like in a potential significant other.  This is a turn off for me and portrays a negative outlook as a opposed to a positive one.
  19. Some guys have listed how nice, romantic, funny, they know how to treat a woman listed in their profile but somehow creepy with a fetish for women’s panties does not.  I hate finding out when guys are creepy.  I do not know what’s worse: the fact that the man has a seemingly normal profile or the fact that the guy is obsessed with something gross and weird which is found out after you are exchanging messages with him.
  20. I hate the men that say let’s meet up because I hate messaging or texting back and forth.  Then the guy wants to plan a meet  up for the same day.  I’m sorry but I do not work like that and need some advance notice before meeting up.  Like I at least want to know your first name before meeting you.  I do not mind a day in advance notice but not like two hours in advance.  I have a life and things are usually planned in advance.
  21.   Online dating is so much more frustrating than real life dating.  There are men who just want to be your virtual pen pal, have no real intentions of meeting up, or will do anything in their power to hook up with you.

These are lessons I have learned so far from navigating the online dating scene which at times seems like it is a shit show.  I am sure that I will learn more lessons along the way.  Here’s to hoping that something fruitful happens at the end of this online dating journey.  So far all I have done is question my sanity and common sense throughout this process but also have learned tons about myself (maybe the above sentence will inspire a new post, I’ll see what happens).



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