Ranting Rambling



So I have been in a major rut lately and feel really stuck.  Basically, I have been feeling unsuccessful in about every aspect of my life.  I think part of it has to do with other people having tons of recent successes: career wise, getting engaged, or entering a new relationship. I’ll be the  first to admit that I usually feel like shit when somebody else makes progress in an area of their life.  I always replay the why am I unable to move forward in _____ area of my life instead of just being happy for the person.  Right now dating and guys is a big one.  I must be at the age where everyone is in a relationship or engaged and it is crazy.  There so many close friends and acquatinces that are in a relationship, engaged, or married.  Even at work I am one the only single.  It sucks I know!  Everyone is talking about wedding plans, babies, or their partners and here I am like do you or your boyfriend have any cute single male friend? I’m nowhere near ready for marriage or kids but dating would be nice.  At my age it is difficult to find single compatible guys.  Online dating sure doesn’t help the cause due to my lack of luck on those types of sites.

Being the single one sucks at times but it also had its advantages, like going wherever I want when I want without answering to anybody else.  But, I would eventually like to meet my perfect man and be in a long term relationship.  The failures and not getting past the first date from online dating doesn’t help my situation. Ugh, this sucks and I am totally tired of listening to everybody else and trying to be the good friend.  It is just so frustrating and I hate the fact that my friends and co-workers keep asking me about how many babies I want to have, their names, what do you want your wedding to be like?  Basically I have no clue because I am so not ready for children and need to find my perfect guy before even considering marriage.  Why, why am I in that part of my life right now?  It is like me and a few other friends who are single in my friend group.  I am probably destined to always be single and it sucks!  I don’t want to find my person at 40, that would suck because I would be really old.  Ahh, I am already closing in on the big 3-0.  I don’t want to even put the thought of 40 in my mind.  All I want is to be more successful, find love, and find my place in my career.

So, I think I need to stop now because honestly this post can go on for pages and pages and posts and posts.  Maybe this is just one of the bumps in the road or ruts that happens after the quarter life.



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