Advice, one of those things that people either love or hate. Fortunately for me I am a decent advice giver- at least my friends think so because they always come around looking for advice. Over the past three years my sister, I’ll call her Pep, and I have started a tradition where I write her an advice letter during each year she is in college. I give the letter to her at the end of winter break before she goes back to school This is the third year I wrote a letter and figured I’d share it with all of you. BTW by write I mean actually handwritten and not typed. I am old school like that. This post will probably be a tad bit long. Enjoy!
To The One The Only Pep,
So, I am back with more words of wisdom! I’m going to do this in one shot this time so there will probably be mistakes, possible misspellings, and cross outs. Now that the formal things are out of the way let’s begin! Here I go … oh and one last thing, I hardly go back and edit what I write in these.
1.Don’t settle … I repeat don’t ever settle for anything ever!
If you know what you want go for it and don’t stop until you have it. Even if it takes you 25 years to attain it keep going and trying. Once you settle it is hard to move on or go back on the path of not settling (aka before the thought of settling ever crossed your mind).
Things to never settle on:
- Guys: Just do not do it. If I get a feeling of being complacent get out of the relationship. Run do not walk out of it.
- Job: Keep finding better opportunities. I’m not the best example but learn from me.
- Friends: Keep making friends until you find your true crew. It is fine to keep old friends but always find new ones who bring out your best. Get rid of friends who settle.
2. Jackasses suck and you just have to deal with them (yes more than 1 will be in your life)
The best way to deal with them is to ignore them or stand there nod your head, listen, and walk away. Do not associate with them but still be polite and courteous. Being respectful will get you far in life. It is totally ok to tell them off or get your Brooklyn on if they disrespect you, are rude to you, or spread false rumors about you. Otherwise keep them past arms length and poke them with a ten foot pole.
3.Stay away from the gossip train
You probably do this already but I am just drilling the fact into your head. No good can come from this unless you are trying to put an end to a rumor about you. What Mom said is true- Walls have ears. So always watch what you say besides not getting tangled in the gossip ring. Trust me there are always gossip people at jobs and among friends. They are fake and always want to stir the pot. Just stay away and keep mum!
4.Network, network, network, oh and did I mention network?
A major faux paix I made in college and my first year in the real world was: not finding or using my connections to my advantage. Most jobs occur through networking, use it to your advantage and connect to as many people as possible. You never know who will be the person to get you a job. Also, if an acquaintance or friend gets you a job or internship be gracious and try to pay it forward too. Remember if you help give someone a contact or job they might repay you one day. So keep on networking. Now why do you think there are so many incompetent idiot CEO’s, teachers, VPs etc.? Because they all had a way in through some type of connection. Get the picture? I hope so!
5.You are young so party hard, get a decent GPA, fuck up, get your heart broken, break hearts, and just live life.
These are your glory days! They truly are! Please I’m begging you to not be a cautious girl like me and just go for it or do it! This is the time to be free, explore, make mistakes, and just live it up. Now is the time to do what you want without any strings attached, no health benefits to worry about, no kids, no husband, no full time job, and virtually no real responsibilities. So just live it and if you have a mistake(s) it’s ok and you have people that will help you out. When you are an old person ,like me, you will always wish you did the things you were afraid to do such as the party you missed, boy you didn’t kiss, beer you didn’t drink, so do it now and don’t look back or think about it too much. Your future old person self will thank you and you will have tons of funny stories and memories to tell the future generation!
6.Invest in these key pieces of makeup
2.Concelear (works wonders and the occasional miracle)
4.Setting powder (polishes the look)
I know you do not wear makeup that much but having those pieces on hand help polish off a look and are good to wear for a night out or an interview. So yes do invest in quality products (Bobbi Brown has amazing concealer for under eyes)! It will make a difference.
7.Start investing or saving for retirement as soon as you get your first full paying job.
Seriously do this! Before you know it you’ll be 35 with nothing put away for your senior years. This is the one good thing I did and now I have a few thousand put away for when I’m old. Trust me you will thank me! I know you are invested in stocks which is another good move unless the stock market suddenly tanks then well you know- you’ll be losing money womp, womp. So keep doing what you’re doing and then do an IRA or 401(k) or 403(b) it will save you from eating cat food when you’re old. I do not want to eat cat food or Alpo lol.
8.Have a go to dessert or appitizer
I have a few for both and these are good recipe types to have on reserve for parties or pot lucks. This makes it easier to plan and cook them. Since the recipes are familiar you will know how they will turn out. This helped me. I have a few on reserve.
9.You need at least 1 good quality handbag
I know you can spot good ones because I taught you myself! You need at least 1 that will stand the test of time and not fall apart with tons of use. Brands I recommend: Patricia Nash Designs, Dooney and Bourke, Frye leather, and Kate Spade.
10. Travel- even if you go broke or even if it’s local
This is so very important! You can learn a lot from this and help other people learn too. I never want to stop traveling or exploring and you shouldn’t either. It can be the most humbling experience of your life so keep doing it!
11.Write even if it’s in a journal
Writing is so freeing and you don’t have to worry about topic, grammar, or spelling when you do your own journal. It helps get feelings out and helps you work through things. Just do it you will not regret it.
12. Lastly, I’ll end on this note which does not need explanation
Everyday is mother’s day!
The wise old words of Grandma H and need to get shithead in here too. If somebody truly pisses you off it is totally ok to internally call them shithead over and over. I’ve done it before. It helps in a weird way.
Hope you enjoyed these words of wisdom this time. I had fun writing and thinking of them. Just trying to impart some of my knowledge and life experiences to the future generation lol!
* P.S. Don’t waste your life!! Before you know it you will be 25 and regret not taking more chances!! Risky things are better done when you are young because it’s easier to pick yourself up from a mistake. Wake up and say I tried, I succeeded, I failed but never wake up saying I wish because before you know it you’ll be dead. Or one day you will be too old to do the things you wanted or never got a chance to do.