So Love Sucks …

So, My last relationship crashed and burned after 10 months.  It started out good and we were both infatuated with each other.  As our relationship progressed there were differences that he did not want to work through.  Differences were not major but to him they were. It was things like,   It was devastating because I had invested so much into the relationship and thought we would be together for a long time.  However, I felt undervalued during our relationship and not seen as a priority.  For him it was family, work, friends, hockey/soccer, then Amanda (me).  I was basically worked into his schedule at his convience.  That is not how a relationship is supposed to work.  I understand work and family being at the top of a priority list before a relationship but putting friends, co-workers, and sports above me is just wrong.

There were signs throughout the course of the relationship that demonstrated that his lack of prioritizing me.  Two major occurrences were asking me to spend time with him for five hours on one weekend because he had to go to the hockey game with his friends.  Stupid me would drive out to see him for five hours because that was the only time I would get to see him all week.  Another thing that caused issues in our relationship was his refusal to give up or invite me to hang out with his co-workers or friends on Friday nights.  I asked him if he could give up one or two Fridays  with his buddies so that we could spend more time together and he balked at the idea.  Both of those things  should have been red flags about how committed he was to me and our relationship. Since he didn’t give up Friday nights we  hardly spent time together.  We would see each other once a week or for a few hours over a weekend.  That is the only time I would see him for the whole week and it sucked.  Looking back it was more like a friendship than a relationship.The quote below sums up the above and it’s so sad that things were not ended sooner.  But hey you live and you learn and I will not make that mistake again.

Signs that my relationship was doomed:

  • I was not a priority in the relationship
  • He never called on the phone or wanted to talk on the phone
  • Never wanted to come visit me in my town or at my place (we lived about 40 min drive from each other)
  • Never gave up a Friday night with co-workers or invited me to hangout out with them during the 10 months
  • Thought it was acceptable to see me for 5 hours and then I had to wait seven days to see him again
  • We never spent a whole weekend  together (Fri-Sun or Sat.& Sun) while we were dating.  There was always an excuse of how he had to visit friends or family the next day so I would have leave in the morning or not stay the night
  • Whenever I communicated something that bothered me he always got defensive
  • Never expressed his feelings: like if things were bothering him
  • Never expressed emotion or said how he was feeling about the relationship
  • Never wanted to discuss emotions or feelings in the relationship

I am not bashing him at all because the success of our relationship did not have anything to do with how he treated me.  He was a gentleman, was very nice, and respectful toward me.  However, niceness does not mean that a romantic relationship is going to work or is meant to be.  Despite his gentlemanly status, he was not ready to be in a romantic relationship (at least one with me) based on the lack of prioritization, lack of emotional communication, and hardly ant effort put into making our relationship successful.  Just because a man treats you right does not justify a lack of effort in a relationship nor does it mean that you should remain int he relationship because the person is nice and kind.

All of his good qualities are what made me love him, fight for our relationship, and not speak up as much as I should have. At the end of the day we had a friendship going on and not a true romantic relationship. The way things ended between us hurt me to my core and made me sad a long while. I kept going over events and decisions in our relationship to figure out what I could have changed or done better.  No matter how many times I re evaluated events and occurrences it does change the fact that we are broken up.  There are no guarantees or crystal balls in life and even if we did not break up when we did and stayed together there is no way to know if we would have lasted.  No matter how many times I replay things in my mind it does not mean things would have ended up with us being together forever  We could have just broken up at a different point in time.

 

Now, after doing my best to get over this man, I have jumped back in to the online dating realm which seems to have gotten worse than I remember it.  I’ll try my luck at meeting another man who I will be compatible with.

Below are quotes the sum up what I want in a relationship.  Hopefully I can find a man that can live up to both quotes one day.  I thought I found a man who could live up to these but apparently not since our relationship has ended.

Be on the look out for a post about my current dating adventures, mishaps, and crazy stories!  This is bound to be an interesting journey and one where I branch out and try new dating sites!  I’ll see how it goes and will keep an open mind to the process.

Guess who is back … back again

So, it is safe to say that I have been missing from this blog for a few months. It is not something I planned on happening but it did and I am ready to jump back on the bandwagon!
I have missed blogging so much and in lieu of logging on here the notes on my iPhone is chock full of future posts and ideas! The pas few months have been emotional and frustrating for me due to certain things happening the holiday, difficulties in my relationship (which is now non-existent), family, career, and self worth. All of those factors were overwhelming and resulted in me not blogging like I should have done. Blown helps me connect with others, express my ideas, and document aspects of my life an thinking during my life. So, I am back and excited to finally start positing again. I am not sure how frequently I will blog, most likely as fast as I can edit and elaborate on those ideas and posts in my iPhone notes. so, cheers for now and see you soon!

XoXo ~ Amanda

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life

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I was so excited when I heard that more episodes of Gilmore Girls were coming to Netflix! So of course I marked my calendar and anticipated the day that the four episodes would be released! November 25th could not arrive soon enough for me!

Finally the day arrived and I was thrilled! I just had to watch all of these episodes no matter what. I almost did a binge watching session but decided against it. Instead I watched two episodes on Friday and the other two on Saturday.

I was thrilled to see old characters and the writers sure tried to cram everyone in to these four episodes. I was very pleased with how things went and could relate to Rory’s struggle of finding her place, her career, her voice, and just feeling lost. I am currently going through some of those things now. So, I think these four episodes took a different path than how I thought but in a good way. Before diving into the episodes I figured the focus would be on a successful Rory with a great journalism career. She would be taking time out or a vacation to visit Star’s Hollow to see her family and catch up with the happenings in town. But Amy Sherman-Palladino,the writer, took another path and showed a more reality type version of events. Not everything goes as planned or is like a storybook ending.

The episodes were lengthy and some of them felt a bit dragged out such as the episode where Lorelai and Emily were going to therapy. I think most of the old characters

Questions/Comments I have from the episodes:

No theme song … I repeat no theme song.  I was so bothered by this to no end. Yes, the episodes were titled by the seasons which were featured in the Carole King theme song but it is not the same.   So, it is safe to say that I was really disappointed by this detail being left out. 😦

Who and why is Mr. Kim at the food festival? He was never in the original Gilmore Girls and now randomly appears. That was unnecessary.

Dean shows up at Doose’s.  Really?  There was absolutely no point or reason for him to be there.  Regular Gilmore Girls fans know that Dean is married and that Rory almost ruined that relationship.  Another random pop-in

Kirk is so annoying throughout this series. He was always a bit quirky and annoying during the regular seasons but he go under my skin so much more in these episodes. The ooh-ber thing drove me nuts. He just annoyed me throughout the episodes.

Who is Paul and where did he come from? I think this was such a silly character to add and even have in the series.  it was literally pointless and it didn’t add anything to the series.

I felt that all the writer attempted to cram pop-ins and sightings of majority of the old characters in the four episodes.

Rory, why is it a good idea to stay at Logan’s place when he is engaged.   This is a big no-no.  Logan should have known better also and suggested that Rory stay somewhere else.  These were just poor decisions on both of their parts.  No good can come from  this situation.

Rory so needs to end up with Jess!  I think they should wind up together!

Leaving everyone hanging at the end when Rory announces that she is pregnant!  I need more episodes!  Amy Sherman- Palladino needs to make more episodes to address this little dilemma.

What are your thoughts on the new Gilmore Girls episodes? What were some of your favorite and least favorite parts?

Dating Dilemma

It has been such a long time since I have done a dating dilemma post. My dating life was going ok for awhile andI found a guy I really dug and things were just flowing naturally. Then things kind of came to a halt and he pulled the whole I like to take things slow card. So, I figured why not just dip my toe back in to see what’s out there. Compared to up North the dating pool is so different and smaller. I have little hope of finding someone when I keep receiving messages like the following.

Some stellar messages from the men that inhabit the online dating world.

  • If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger then “beautiful” could ever be used to describe you. trust me.
  • Do you talk?
  • When they said this smile is worth a million dollars I think they forgot to add some more zeros.
  • Damn you ares sexy …I’m not very good at romance but you could sit on my face and I could just eat my way to your heart? ( Really?  Theses gross and is not even worth a response)
  • Good with advices?
  • Hey there sexy I just wanted to let you know that I find you incredibly beautiful.
  • I mean if there is one thing that there is enough of in this world, it’s beautiful women.

So, this is why I am destined to be single forever. I am just getting tired of filtering through messages and having my inbox filled with messages like the ones above.  Seriously some men out there need to step up their game and stop writing sub par messages to women.

 

 

Black Friday 2016

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Black Friday is one day where I stay away from stores.  i avoid them like the plague and that is fine by me.  On that day I wills scour the internet for online deals and I have found a few this year!  Usually there is nothing that I desperately need to purchase and that saves me a bunch of money.  See below for my Black Friday purchases. * This post is NOT sponsored by any brand,store, or company.  All reviews and opinions are my own and I like to share my likes and opinions with readers!*

Ulta

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I enjoy browsing through Ulta’s store, catalog, and website.  I knew that I would find some good deals this year.  Last year I purchased ogx shampoos and conditioners because Ulta had a buy one get one free deal going on.  This was a a good buy because the ox shampoo and conditioner are expensive! SO that was good deal.  This year I bought makeup and skin products.

Lora Black Tie Attire Eyeshadow Palette

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This will be my first Lorac makeup purchase.  I have never purchased their products before.  The colors on both of these palettes were just too good to pass up!  They fit with my style and makeup look.  When doing makeup I stick to neutral and natural colors.  I do not go too out of the box with my makeup look.   Both of these palettes are $18 each.  i think these are a steal based on the quality of the product and the normal pricing.  I will have to do a review once I have used the product for awhile.  I am so excited to use this palette and am highly considering getting the second palette because the colors are just so gorgeous!  If any of you readers have tried this product let me know your experience and how it is?

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream

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I love most of the First Aid beauty products.  They smell good are parabin free and do not irritate my skin.  Currently I use the First Aid Beauty Repair Cream as my moisturizer and I love it!  I had to get these two mini products when I saw them listed on Ulta’s site.  This is a great stocking stuffer gift for anyone who loves First Aid Beauty.  The cost $20 bucks and was a steal in my eyes because the full sized product is $ 3o per jar.  So you get two products for less than the price of one!  What is your favorite First Aid Beauty product?

Mario Badescu: Holiday Multi Masker Set

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This was a great find!  There are three small tubs of the following masks: Super Collagen, Flower & Tonic, Whitening.  You get to try all three masks and for a great price too! The whole set was only $12.  If there is one mask you like best you can then buy the full sized mask!  It is also a great stocking stuffer for the holidays or a great site for traveling!

First Aid Beauty: Fab Cleanse & Exfoliate Kit

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First Aid Beauty is one of my favorite brands so far and I just could not pass this kit up either! The kit includes a Face Cleanser and Facial Radiance Pads. I did not get this for me but for my sister who loves their  products as well.  She is traveling and this kit is perfect for luggage and a purse.  This is perfect holiday gift for First Aid Beauty lovers or just and individual that want to try out First Aid Beauty products.

Soma

Stunning Support Balconet Bra

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Sensuous Lace Majesty Lace Balconet Bra

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For a large chested girl bra shopping is no joke.  I gave up on Victoria’s Secret bras long ago.  For the record they are cheap, over priced, not supportive for large chested women, and the consultants always measure me wrong.  My new love for bras comes form Soma.  They cover all the sizes and actually make supportive bras for big chests!  I love it!  They are expensive but it is well worth the price!   On Black Friday Soma had a buy one get one half price so I had to get some bras.   I also had a gift card from my birthday so I could not pass up the opportunity to get some bras.  The Stunning Support Balconet is my everyday bra an looks nice, is comfortable for long wear, and truly supportive.  They are worth every penny you spend on them!  I am trying the Lace Balconet for the first time and will need to let you know how it is  Has any reader ever used Soma?  If you have, what is your favorite bra?

What are some of the Black Friday deals you purchased this year?

Any recommendations for good makeup brushes will be much appreciated!  I am on the hunt for some great brushes for liquid foundation, eyes, and powder.  Leave a comment below if you know of any  good brands!

Weekly Wonders: Youtube Edition

Wow!  It has been forever and a day since I have done a weekly wonders post.  I have felt an urge to do one because I think it would be fun to look back on and share some of my favorite things with my readers!  This weekly wonder post will feature Youtubers!  I have been on an Youtube kick lately and have discovered some fabulous bloggers this past month.  I was never much of a Youtube person but lately I have been exploring the site.

Sarah Rae Vargas

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Channels: Sarah Rae Vargas: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClUqMLr3RRUwaWJlTpBvV8w

Sarah Rae Vlogas: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0YgscPJVsW-4tIx2U499cw

I absolutely love both of Sarah’s channels.  She is authentic and real especially on her vlog channel.  It is also nice to see someone who portrays their actual life happenings as opposed to others who I feel embellish or potry their lives differently.  I love her clothing hauls.  I am a bigger than average girl and I like knowing where to find some good clothes. Also her makeup is on point and I like her makeup looks.  Sarah keep up the great work and cannot wait to see the future videos you post!

Loey Lane

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Channels: LoeyBug: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ1aNU_1YaYv6i3JL6xYbdg

LoeyLane: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC39eHhTEqiBlqRbmIIYjm-g

Loey Lane is another Youtuber that I have been watching lately. She has such an upbeat and positive personality!  She is also great at applying and reviewing various makeup products.  I like finding out about different products to try and how to create various makeup looks.  Her vlogs are great too and it is nice to see what some of your favorite Youtubers are up to when they are not filming.

The Lettered Classroom

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Channel:The Lettered Classroom: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFebmxJBh559c8BEcnxL-DQ/featured

I am a teacher and have not realized how many teachers have their own Youtube channels.  It is great to see all of the tips, ideas, struggles, and the positive side of teaching.  I enjoy watching this channel and love how perky and positive she is!  I cannot wait to see what teaching tips and experiences she logs about next!

College Prepster

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Channel:College Prepster: https://www.youtube.com/user/collegeprepster

I love Carly’s blog so it makes sense that I would love her Youtube channel!  I like the videos she films and puts up especially the Thanksgiving one.  I live in that area now so it is neat to see that one of my favorite bloggers grew up there.  Although it is vastly different than up north. Love this peak into the College Prepster’s Life!

JaaackJack Vlogs

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Channels: JaaackJack: https://www.youtube.com/user/JaaackJack

JaaackJackVlogs:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_ljCoKzYCrEzr21LyyijEg

This channel popped up as a recommended one on Youtube’s main page.  I figured I’d check it out and I loved that channel.  I also found out that she has her own make up channel too. Of course I checked that out and loved her makeup channel as well.  There are new products and looks on her channel that I want to try out.  Love it so check out her channel today!

Readers, who are some of your favorite Youtubers?  Let me know below in the comments section!

Turkey Day!

This has been one memorable and unique turkey day. Growing up my family has always hosted Thanksgiving and we would squeeze 20 people into my small house and just have great time. Now that I live in the South my family still hosts but for less people usually just some neighbors. To us it doesn’t matter because we enjoy cooking and hosting. It is one of our family specialties!

This year has been very different than all the past Thanksgiving because we had to cancel it. My mom got really sick and she tried to make it but we did not want to risk getting our neighbors sick. They only live up the block so we told them it was canceled and that we would deliver to them dinner later. So, this is new for us because we never had to cancel a holiday.

What makes today even more special is that it is my sister (Pep’s) 21st birthday! She is so exited that it fell on a holiday this year! So we celebrated in the morning with balloons and presents! This is the second time she has had a birthday on a holiday. Her sixteenth birthday also fell on Thanksgiving. I have a feeling that she will have more holiday birthdays!

Despite what happened we are still cooking away and enjoying time as a family. I am so thankful to have such an amazing family and love them so much. i treasure this family time because throughout the year we are not able to get together as much as I’d like. So here is to another year in the books! Happy Thanksgiving!!

What Thanksgiving traditions do you have? Funny Thanksgiving stories? Feel free to share in the comment section!